Dirty Weekend

What better way to spend the weekend? Suck on a few nitrous balloons and then why not use the cream whipper for what it was actually designed for, put in some cream. Add the nitrous oxide squirt, squirt, squirt, lick,lick,lick. Laughing gas Creamed on cream. And to finish off for desert, the icing on the cake … back to the balloons. A doubly versatile way to spend the weekend. Dirty until licked cleam, cream on cream whipped into a frenzy … mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Just to note there are two obvious dangers here … one asphixiation, don’t be sucking on no pure nitrous. Two getting fat. Whipped cream is a highly calorific product. Although you will need plenty if energy … but in a more quick release for, I suggest addign a bit of maple syrup to the cream. Sweet. Sticky.

Going away for the weekend? Not this weekend, but I am thinking a head. Planning for something special. Something by the seaside. Something Boutique. Although it has to be said, the term “boutique” has been stretched to breaking point. It should be defined by Trading Standards. Similar to the way organic can’t be bandied around willy nilly. Actually, now that I think about it the word organic is not to clearly defined in labelling. That is why the soil association need to rubber stamp the packaging. So, that is what we need. A boutique hotel rubber stamping agency. Things to look for….

• Every room should be unique
• The art on the walls should be original
• Not part of a chain

Job done. I am going to write to my MP to sort this out. We will get a Europe wide standard on Boutiqueness. Extra points will not be awarded for the trouser press or conference facilities.

This week I am mainly planning to stay in and watch the DVDcalled “Nine Songs” it doesn’tn have the greatest of reviews, in fact the popular consensus is that it is crap. But it does have the fact going for it that it is one of the few major release movies that contain real sex. Not dure how they weave the story around it, but I am guessing that they do it nine times over the ninety minutes so it’ll be pretty action packed.I am sure that it is possible to devise some sort of drinking game to go along with this film. Take a swig every time there is a full frontal. Down a glass for every orgasm. That sort of thing.

What exactly is/isn’t acceptable for a regualr 18 certificate film is also something that I am curious about. I’ll report back next week after the viewing.